In the past I thought I have been a positive person and really had a positive outlook on life even after one of the biggest heart breaks any person could go through. Losing someone you truely care about and love through divorce. Though mine hasnt been as difficult as it could be as far as the legal laws, it has been emotionally a complete rollercoaster. The thing of the matter is, i wouldnt have taken back those two years of marriage for anything. I learned some very valuable lessons the hard way, but it was just what i needed....
"When life gets to hard to stand, Kneel" - Gordon B. Hinkley.
So i did just that, and took that leap of faith to figure out who i was again. I realized where my priorities needed to be as opposed to where they've been. I also gained a whole new perspective on life. The trees seemed brighter, smells seemed sweeter and i remembered that God has a hand in everything that we do. Our lives are just a big puzzle peice, and if we stay focused, one peice at a time we will start to see a bigger picture.
A funny way that i was starting to heal and learn, was that i was finding quotes daily to put on my facebook status' based on how i felt that day. i would take to heart each and every one of the quotes to try to make my day a little better an to broaden that perspective. As far as prersonal progression, there were a couple that stood out to me the most...
"You cant win unless you risk loss" "Live with no regrets." "Love unconditionally"
I thought i learned the meaning of these previously in my life, but until i gained this new perspective i really started to understand what they meant and started seeing how i started using them to find ME.
I wasnt ready to jump in that area, screaming Caution in yellow tape, but i did. Not knowing that i was going to fall flat on my face. When i did, I stood up and evaluated and thought to myself "What could i have done differently?" The answer to myself was, Nothing. Because I risked it all. I was being myself who is genuine, beautiful, outgoing, open, honest and truely sincere. He just wasnt the right guy. I lost, but i had to risk that. And I wasnt in as much pain as i could have been, but knowing that I did all i could made all of the difference between complete heart break and moving on. "Live with no regrets." I fell in love with this guy, but when it wasnt right and knowing he wasnt ready, that love turned to unconditional love.
It took this expirence to open my eyes to what "Loving unconditionally" really meant to me personally. When you love someone unconditionally you feel everything that person is going through. You wish you could take away any pain and sorrow that they might have. You want to sort out their confusion and you hope that all of their troubles become your own. You drive yourself crazy for hours thinking how you can be there for someone, even if you cant do anything. When they are happy you are so happy that you cant help but smile and tell them how much you appreciate them. Letting them now how amazing they are. When they are down they know they have a best friend by their side that will do anything in the world for them. No matter what it is.
I am so grateful for the opportunity that i was able to crash and burn just a couple of times to realize some valuable life lessons. I have grown so much in the past year than i did for several years. Mainly because i have that different perspective on life and i see value to my every day tasks. I constantly am looking for that missionary expierence or the hand of God in my life to help spiritually strenthen me. The power of prayer is amazing, and always striving to be the best you can makes a huge difference.
I know that growing closer to my Heavenly Father has been a very big part of my transformation from living life day to day to "Living life to the fullest."
"After you have learned to love yourself for who you are, love the life youve been given, and learned to toss all judgement aside, only then can you truely understand the meaning of loving unconditionally." - Ashleigh Cloward
